Sex in Outer Space

Weddings in outer space are already possible. The Japanese firm First Advantage and the U.S.-based private spaceflight firm Rocketplane Global, Inc., announced last summer they can host weddings in space for about $2.3 million apiece.

So what about sex in outer space? For all we know, sex in space has already taken place. But NASA officials aren't talking about that much.

"To say that astronauts are some superior beings who cannot have interests in any kind of sexual feelings for three years ... I just don't buy it," said Jason Kring of Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University in Florida. Kring also pointed out the possibly negative consequences of pregnancies in a micro-gravity environment.

"Are we going to sterilize our crew members before sending them to Mars?" said Kring, who studies the psychological effects of long-duration space missions.

Has "it" has happened already?

"We don't study sexuality in space, and we don't have any studies ongoing with that," said NASA spokesman Bill Jeffs of the Johnson Space Center in Houston. "If that's your specific topic, there's nothing to discuss," he added, referring to "sex in space."

Science journalist Laura Woodmansee, wrote a book, "Sex in Space," in which she states "honeymoons in space and out-of-this-world sex will be a reality within a decade."

How to do it: The key to successful sex in space is about dealing with micro-gravity as you float around.

In "Sex in Space," Woodmansee describes several positions that might work, ranging from the modified missionary position to seated with "interlocking Y legs."

You would also need props, including a shared elastic waistband or tethers to hold one partner to a stable structure so you don't go flying off from each other.

The Tragedy of Michael Jackson's Sexuality

Many people never believed Michael Jackson was a pedophile. According to Jacob Weisberg of Slate, he didn't fit the profile: "Child abusers tend to do the same thing again and again. According to one study, the average molester of boys commits 280 crimes over a lifetime. Yet despite the lure of getting rich by making accusations against Jacko, only two alleged victims have ever come forward with detailed allegations.

"What's more, those two accusations, separated by 10 years, don't conform to a pattern. Not to put too fine a point on it, but the accuser in the recent case—the cancer victim—alleged groping by Jackson. Jackson's previous accuser, whose family settled a civil suit in 1993 for $20 million, accused the singer of more extreme abuse, including oral sex."

But the main reason Mr. Weisberg, "Never bought the prosecutor's depiction of Jackson as a premeditating sexual predator "grooming" his victims, is that it doesn't ring true in psychological terms." Whether or not he had ever touched a boy inappropriately, Michael Jackson seemed, "Too emotionally stunted to act in any grown-up way, including a deviant sexual one. Naive, juvenile, and terribly damaged, he seem(ed) pathetically incapable not just of criminal intent, but of adult consciousness."

Why? By now we know that as a boy, Michael Jackson was forced to work by a cruel and physically abusive father starting at the age of 7. He did not go to school, have friends, or play.

Instead, Michael was made, according to Weisberg, "into a performing sexualized freak, a boy whose soprano voice kindled passion in grown women. He was made to witness adult sexuality at an age when it can only have been terrifying and incomprehensible to him. By 10, he was performing in strip clubs and hiding under the covers in hotel rooms while his older brothers got it on with groupies. At 11—the age at which his psyche seems frozen—he was a superstar."

'My childhood was completely taken away from me,' MJ said. And Weisberg returns with: "Almost everything that seems freakish about him can be explained by his poignant, doomed effort to get his stolen childhood back."

A child in his own mind, Jackson saw all of his behavior as completely innocent. It was a sleepover party, not a seduction. May his tormented soul rest in peace as we all seek to understand and to forgive.

Sexting is Stupid

abc news

One in five U.S. teens engages in sexting, according to a recent survey. Sexting is sending or receiving sexually suggestive, nude or nearly nude photos by e-mail or cell phone.

The findings are the result of interviews conducted last April by Harris Interactive, which surveyed 655 teens ages 13 to 18 about their use of computers and cell phones.

One in four teens said they knew someone who had a bad experience because of information posted on the Internet and 20 percent reported being harassed or threatened online or by text message.

"Teenagers underestimate the risk they take online," says David Walsh of the National Institute on Media and the Family. "The part of their brain that puts the brakes on things is under major construction."

The danger with sexting is that material can be very easily and widely distributed, over which the originator has no control.

The Institute for Responsible Online and Cell-Phone Communication (I.R.O.C.) is a New Jersey-based organization dedicated to educating communities about protecting themselves online with digital responsibility through their "Sexting is Stupid" program. This is just one of the many programs that are emerging all over the world, including Australia's "Safe Sexting: No Such Thing" campaign.

Against the law
Several legal cases have come about as a result of sexting. In 2007, 32 Australian teenagers from the state of Victoria were prosecuted as a result of sexting activity. Child pornography charges were brought against six teenagers in Greensburg, Pennsylvania in January 2009 after three girls sent sexually explicit photographs to three male classmates.

In 2008, a Virginia assistant-principal was charged with possession of child pornography and related crimes after he had been asked to investigate a rumored sexting incident at the high school where he worked. He found a student in possession of a photo on his phone tof the torso of a girl wearing only underpants, her arms mostly covering her breasts. The assistant principal showed the image to the principal who instructed him to preserve the photo on his computer as evidence. While the court later ruled that the photo did not constitute child pornography because under Virginia law, nudity alone is not enough to qualify an image as child pornography; the image must be "sexually explicit" and "lewd." Loudoun County prosecutor James Plowman stands by his initial assessment of the photo and says he would not have pursued the case if the assistant principal would have agreed to resign. The assistant principal had to get a second mortgage on his house and spend $150,000 in attorneys' fees to clear his name.

In Fort Wayne, Indiana, a teenage boy was indicted on felony obscenity charges for sending a photo of his privates to several female classmates. Another boy was charged with child pornography in a similar case.

Police investigated an incident at Margaretta High School in Castalia, Ohio in which a 17-year-old area girl allegedly sent nude pictures of herself to her former boyfriend, and the pictures started circulating around the high school after the two got into a fight. The 17-year-old girl was charged with being an "unruly child" based on her juvenile status.

Two southwest Ohio teenagers were charged with contributing to the delinquency of a minor, a first-degree misdemeanor, for sending or possessing nude photos on their cell phones of two 15-year-old classmates.

The American Civil Liberties Union of Pennsylvania filed a lawsuit against Wyoming County district attorney George Skumanick Jr. on March 25, 2009 for threatening to prosecute teenage girls for distributing nude photos of themselves. On CBS News's The Early Show, Skumanick stated in an interview with Julie Chen that his office decided to make an offer of limiting penalties to probation if they attend a sexual harassment program.

Laws
Vermont lawmakers introduced a bill in April 2009 to legalize the consensual exchange of graphic images between two people 13 to 18 years old. Passing along such images to others would remain a crime.

In Ohio, a county prosecutor and two lawmakers proposed a law that would reduce sexting from a felony to a first degree misdemeanor, and eliminate the possibility of a teenage offender being labeled a sex offender for years. The proposal was supported by the parents of Jessie Logan, a Cincinnati 18-year-old who committed suicide after the naked picture of herself which she sexted was forwarded to people in her high school.

Utah lawmakers lessened the penalty for sexting for someone younger than 18 to a misdemeanor from a felony.

Suicide
18-year-old Jessica Logan had sent nude pictures of herself to a boyfriend. When they broke up, he sent them to other high school girls. The girls were harassing her, calling her a slut and a whore. She was miserable and depressed, afraid even to go to school. Two months later, Jessica Logan hanged herself in her bedroom.

Sexting is certainly stupid. Once you send that nude picture, you cannot get it back or cancel the "send." It's out there for all to see. And the consequences go beyond the innocent joke or harmless flirting. Of course, such material can be very damaging if it falls into the wrong hands.

Once these images are online or on a phone, anyone anywhere in the world can access them. It is then impossible to retrieve and delete them. They are there forever and can damage future career prospects or relationships. Especially damaging are the reports of girls as young as 13 sending sexually explicit images to their boyfriends on their mobiles phones, which were then passed on to other friends and even further once the relationships ended.

Teenage actress Vanessa Hudgens, star of the successful "High School Musical" franchise, last year had to live down the scandal of her semi-nude pictures, meant for boyfriend Zac Ephron, ending up online.

Privacy is a luxury in today's world. Sexting is one more example of the show-all tell-all culture that refuses to leave anything to the imagination. When malice and death enter into the picture, sexting is not only stupid, it's deadly.

You Might Have an STD and Not Know It

Many sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) don't show up for a long time, or do not present symptoms to the naked eye. If you have gonorrhea and are a male, it will show up as dripping, oozing. But in women the symptoms are often confused with signs of a bladder infection. Chlamydia, may not have any symptoms at all. They are often not apparent in the mail organ. They may only show up later in the female when the disease has already messed with her internal organs to the point where she may not be able to bear children.

Here, according to webmd.com is a look at the six most common STDs, including a brief summary of specific symptoms and how the diseases are treated.

Chlamydia

Chlamydia is the most frequently reported and fastest growing sexually transmitted disease in the United States. Still, most cases go undiagnosed.

Symptoms: Often, people with chlamydia experience no symptoms; those who do may notice abnormal vaginal discharge, discharge from the tip of the penis or burning when urinating, and spotting between periods.

Time until symptoms show up: If symptoms do occur, they usually appear within 1-3 weeks of exposure.

How you get it: Chlamydia can be transmitted through vaginal, anal, or oral sex. It can also be passed from mother to baby during vaginal birth.

Consequences if left untreated: The disease can spread into the uterus or fallopian tubes and cause pelvic inflammatory disease (PID), which is not easily cured. PID can cause permanent damage to the fallopian tubes and uterus, resulting in chronic pelvic pain, infertility, and the potential of fatal ectopic pregnancy (pregnancy that occurs outside the uterus). It can also be passed from an infected mother to her baby during childbirth. Up to 40 percent of women with untreated Chlamydia infections develop PID, and up to 20 percent of those may become infertile.

Untreated infections in men can lead to epididymitis, an inflammation of the coiled tubes in the back of the testicles. This can result in testicular swelling, pain, and even infertility.

Gonorrhea

Gonorrhea is the second most commonly reported infectious disease in the United States, but like chlamydia, it is under-diagnosed.

Symptoms: Symptoms are usually mild and can be mistaken for a bladder infection. They can include pain or burning during urination, yellowish or bloody vaginal/penile discharge, abdominal pain or tenderness, heavier menstrual flow, and spotting between periods.

Time until symptoms show up: On the rare occasions when symptoms do occur, they usually appear within 10 days of infection.

How you get it: Gonorrhea is transmitted through vaginal, anal, or oral sex. It can also be passed from mother to baby during vaginal birth.

Consequences: Gonorrhea can lead to PID, chronic pelvic pain, ectopic pregnancy, infertility, and infections that can damage joints and heart tissue. Gonorrhea can also increase your risk of acquiring HIV if you are exposed to the virus.

Genital herpes

Herpes symptoms can come and go, but the virus remains in the nerve cells of your body even when you are not exhibiting signs.

Symptoms: Many people will have no sores or minimal symptoms. But during an outbreak, women with genital herpes may experience small red bumps, blisters, or open sores on areas near or on the vagina along with vaginal discharge, fever, headaches, muscle aches, pain during urination, and itching, burning, or swollen glands in the genital area. Sores heal after 2-4 weeks, and most symptoms are relieved. Symptoms can recur, however, sometimes in just weeks or months after the last outbreak, particularly when you are under stress.

Male herpes symptoms usually begin with an itching or tingling sensation in the genital location. Following this first warning sign, the infected area may become swollen, eventually producing red bumps on the penis, anus or buttocks. These red bumps will gradually turn to blisters, and then into more painful, open sores. The healing process begins once these open sores begin to scab over.

Time until symptoms show up: Symptoms usually start within 2 weeks of transmission.

How you get it: Herpes is frequently passed through sexual contact, and it is particularly contagious during an outbreak of open sores. But if your sex partner has the condition, be aware that you can also contract herpes in the days and hours before your partner experiences a breakout if you are intimate during this time.

Consequences: There is no cure for genital herpes, since the virus will always be in your body, hiding out in your nerve cells. But there are drugs that can shorten outbreaks, make them less severe, or even prevent them from occurring.Pregnant women can pass the virus on to their children during delivery. Herpes infections present during birth are one of the leading causes of blindness in newborns.

Genital warts

According to Webmd.com, "At least half of sexually active Americans will contract genital Human Papilloma Virus (warts) at some point in their lives. Out of the 100 or so strains of the virus, there are about 40 strains of genital HPV, and fewer still are linked to an increased risk of cervical cancer. Other HPV-related cancers include vulvar cancer, vaginal cancer, penile cancer, and anal cancer."

Symptoms: Some women have no symptoms. Those who do may have warts in the genital area or on the inner thighs and lesions on the cervix or in the vagina. Some strains that cause no symptoms can also increase the risk of cervical cancer.

Time until symptoms show up: When warts appear, they can form anywhere from weeks to months to even years after contact with an infected person.

How you get them: Sexually transmitted strains of HPV are passed through vaginal, anal, and possibly oral sex. They can also be spread by direct skin-to-skin contact in the genital area.

Consequences: There is no treatment or cure for HPV, although a new vaccine to prevent HPV infection is now available. The vaccine is approved for girls and women age 9 to 26 years. The vaccine prevents transmission of four strains of the virus. These strains are responsible for 70 percent of all cervical cancers and 90 percent of genital warts.

Trichomoniasis

Also called "trich," trichomoniasis is caused by a parasite that can be passed during sexual contact.

Symptoms: Symptoms include strong-smelling yellow, green, or gray vaginal discharge, discomfort while urinating, pain during intercourse, and an itchy, irritated genital area. Men usually exhibit no symptoms of trichomoniasis. The parasites that cause the infection stays well inside the urinary tract, making symptoms rare and diagnosis difficult. About 40% of men will experience mild symptoms. If you are male and have trich you may feel a tingling sensation inside your penis accompanied with painful urination and ejaculation. Your penis may also produce a thin, white discharge. Your symptoms will probably go away on their own within a couple of weeks. This does not mean that you are no longer infectious. You will still be able to spread trichomoniasis to your sexual partners.

Time until symptoms show up: Symptoms usually appear 5 to 28 days after exposure.

How you get it: The parasite that causes trichomoniasis is usually passed sexually, either from penis to vagina or from vulva to vulva. Trichomoniasis can also be contracted by genital contact with damp or moist objects like towels, wet clothing, or toilet seats. The trichomoniasis parasite can live outside the body for up to 45 minutes.

Consequences: Trichomoniasis increases your chance of getting HIV. Babies born to mothers with trichomoniasis may be born early or weigh less than 5.5 pounds at birth.

HIV/AIDS

Between 1999 and 2003, the estimated number of AIDS cases increased 15 percent among women and only 1 percent among men, according to a report from the CDC. In 2006, a quarter of persons infected with HIV were women. About 21% of people infected with HIV in the US have not been diagnosed.

Symptoms: Many people will not have symptoms for many years. Symptoms may include extreme tiredness; rapid weight loss; fevers and night sweats; long-lasting infections; diarrhea; swollen glands; coughing; oral and vaginal yeast infections; pelvic inflammatory disease (PID); menstrual cycle changes; red, brown, or purplish blotches on the skin or inside the mouth, nose, or eyelids.

Time until symptoms show up: Symptoms may stay dormant for 10 years or more.

How you get it: HIV/AIDS is transmitted through sexual intercourse (oral, anal, or vaginal), receiving a blood transfusion with infected blood, or sharing needles with an HIV-infected person. Women can also pass on HIV to their children during pregnancy, birth, or breastfeeding.

Consequences: There is no known cure for HIV/AIDS, but there are medicines that can slow the disease's progress. HIV can weaken the immune system, making one more vulnerable to infections. HIV disease can progress to AIDS, which can kill you.

Know each other, know yourself
As much as sex is sold and obsessed about in the world, the dark underbelly is exposed in the number of people who die each year. That blissful one night stand when you were too entranced by the mood and the chemicals swimming in your brain to get down and look at your partner's genitals, could result in permanent disease or death. This is a terrible price to pay for some moments of orgasmic pleasure.

But even if you do play Inspector Clousea and decide to give your partner's genitals a thorough examination, some of the above diseases don't show up anyway. How are you going to know if a male is carrying chlamydia? How will you know if a woman has genital warts if they are up inside her and you can't see that far up?

This is why it is important to know your sex partner well and to be in a relationship of trust with them. It's a dangerous jungle out there. A few moments of sexual satisfaction are not worth dying for.

Man Sues Match.com for over $5 Million for Disappointing Him

These days being disappointed can be grounds for suing. A Brooklyn man sued Match.com on June 9 for inflicting "humiliation and disappointment" on date-seekers "who feel rejected when their e-mails get no reply."

The New York Post reported that Sean McGinn stated that the popular matchmaking Web site dangles phony date bait by posting profiles of people who no longer subscribe to its $39.99-a-month service.

As a result, Mr. Lonelyhearts like him have been "defrauded" out of millions of dollars and countless hours spent sending heartfelt e-mails in vain, the 37-year-old TV producer says.

He claims that most members of Match.com -- which has 86 million searches a month in the United States -- are actually unavailable because they "are canceled subscribers or never subscribed at all," according to his suit filed in Manhattan federal court.

The class-action complaint doesn't state damages, but says they exceed $5 million.

McGinn is also demanding that the Internet's biggest dating site "cease and desist its deceptive practices," which he claims are "willfully causing emotional harm to the consumer and social harm to society at large."

"Match's policy causes severe emotional distress and anxiety for some [subscribers], including those who keep writing e-mails to one member after another and never hear back because he/she is writing to people who've canceled," his suit says.

"Because the writer has no way of knowing this, he or she may experience profound personal anguish, suffering which is easily preventable by Match."

The suit also alleges that "Match induces canceled members to log in . . . creating the appearance that inactive members are active" by sending bogus BlackBerry notifications that read, "Someone has winked back at you."

Ironically, McGinn, according to his his lawyer "met someone he's happy with" through the site.

"We're not saying that Match doesn't provide a valuable service, but they don't have to misrepresent what they're offering you," attorney Norah Hart said.

About 15 other disgruntled Match.com users have joined the case, she said.

McGinn's suit is the latest in a series of fraud allegations lodged against Dallas-based Match.com and other social-networking sites.

This is a sad commentary on how people meet each other these days and what their expectations are. Are we so spoiled rotten that we now sue for disappointment because we can't get a date? If the Mr. McGinn has so little game that he can't even get satisfaction out of a dating site, is that cause for taking them to court? Especially after he met someone he liked on the site? If a person is inherently undesirable and can't meet people on their own, do they have the right to squeeze money out of a dating site for not solving all their problems and sending them the love of their life?

You might say, "They were misrepresenting themselves and he has a right to sue." Really? If we sued every business and person for disappointing us, the courts would be backed up with cases for centuries. But if Mr. McGinn does win the $5,000,000, perhaps he will all of a sudden seem like the best catch in town.

What's with All the Sex Tapes?

One of the Real Housewives of New Jersey, Danielle Staub, was going to have her privates revealed in yet another sex tape among those that are flooding the market. But a NJ judge stopped the madness. Sex tapes seem to be one way people fuel their publicity machines and keep themselves in the public eye these days.

In an interview with Star, Steve Zalewski, 27, whom Danielle dated and dumped on the reality hit last week, says his 46-year-old ex was sex-crazed.

Now, after a bad breakup, he says, due in part to her always borrowing money from him. "She tries to look affluent," he says. "But sometimes she couldn't pay the household bills or buy food. Even then, she'd want to borrow 20 grand from me to buy jewelry!"

"She cost me so much money, why shouldn't I make a few dollars?" According to Star, her goal is to appear in Playboy, so the sex tape could only further her career.

So does everyone have to have a sex tape to get attention or for extra cash? There's even a whole website devoted to the subject of celebrity sex tapes for sale.

Here are some celebrities whose sex tapes have been part of their publicity machine:

• Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee: Had various interludes from their honeymoon placed online by Internet Entertainment Group in 1998 as one of the earliest internet celebrity sex tapes.
• Pamela Anderson and Bret Michaels (singer of the band Poison) had a sex tape released as a DVD on 7 September 2005. The footage had been circulating on the internet for many years.
• Britney Spears is featured in one involving her ex, KFed.
• Dustin Diamond of Saved by the Bell fame authorized the release of a 40-minute sex tape in 2006 in the hopes that it would bring in profits and provide a boost to his career.
• Fred Durst, the frontman for the band Limp Bizkit, had a video of him and an unknown woman having sex leaked onto the Internet by a repairman who had been repairing his computer.] He later sued the website Gawker and nine others for $70 million dollars for publishing it.
• Tonya Harding the naughty ex-skater and her husband Jeff Gillooly had a sex tape that was leaked onto the internet and subsequently became so widely available that the couple decided to legitimately release it on their own. It is commercially sold by Penthouse Home Video as the "Wedding Night" tape, although the wedding gown was actually a Halloween costume.
• Keeley Hazell of Page 3 Idol fame, had a 10 minute sex tape featuring herself and her ex-boyfriend released in early January 2007.
• Paris Hilton and then-boyfriend Rick Salomon recorded themselves having sex in a hotel room, shot in night-vision. Hilton initially attempted to stop the distribution of the tape, but later agreed to its release. She now receives profits from the tape. The notoriety surrounding the tape only served to increase Hilton's fame. This footage, along with additional full-color footage, was released commercially under the title 1 Night in Paris.
• Kim Kardashian confirmed the existence of a sex tape of her made by then-boyfriend Ray J. She threatened to take legal action to block its planned distribution by Vivid Video.
• Chyna and fellow professional wrestler Sean Waltman (aka X-Pac) appeared in a home sex tape sold under the title 1 Night in China. Unusually, the tape was not accidentally leaked, but was actually solicited to pornographic film distributors by the duo, possibly in an attempt at a career boost.
• Jenna Lewis, a contestant on Survivor, had her wedding night sex tape released. It features 42 minutes of sex with her husband, model Travis Wolfe, in a Las Vegas, Nevada hotel room.
• Rob Lowe faced controversy in the 1980s; he taped himself having sex with two young women, one of whom was underage.
• Nicole Narain and Colin Farrell have a 13-minute sex tape. Farrell confirmed the existence of the tape and successfully obtained a court order blocking its distribution, but in January 2006, copies of the tape appeared on the Internet.
• Kid Rock and Scott Stapp (former singer of the band Creed) appear in a sex tape from 1999 where the two engage in sex acts with four groupies. California pornography company Red Light District planned to release the tape in 2006, but one of the women involved filed to block it. Ritchie also filed an injunction, called Stapp an "idiot", and blamed him for the tape's leak.
• Jessica Sierra, a former contestant on American Idol and Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew, had a sex tape that is scheduled to be released.
• Verne Troyer, actor and stuntman, is currently suing over the release of a sex tape between himself and a model, which he claims was stolen and is in the hands of the same film producer that released Paris Hilton's sex tape.

And what list would be complete without Madonna and Angelina Jolie, who both have sex tapes to be bought and sold by the general public?

But it is refreshing to know that the Rihanna sex tape was a hoax. A sex tape allegedly featuring pop singer Rihanna is almost certainly a fake, after it was revealed it was a doctored clip starring a well known porn actress. Internet reports suggested the clip, a 13-second film modified to look like a night vision video similar to Paris Hilton's infamous sex tape.

A news website reported it was not Rihanna in the clip, but lookalike porn star Lavish Styles.

See my article: Sex-tapes: Rihanna, Paris, Pam.

Kiss the Creep: One Woman's View of Abuse

Abusive relationship statistics usually only refer to physical abuse, and only what is known. They don't include mentally or emotionally abusive relationships. The issue is so hidden, and in spite of any advances that have been made, there is so much that is still not known, because we don't know what goes on behind closed doors.

Combined with this is the reluctance by many of those who are in abusive relationships, to disclose what is happening to them for various reasons. These reasons are part of the abusive relationship statistics that are not included in the reports we get. They don't disclose, because they are too scared or embarrassed. But one young New Jersey, poet, Mayden Steele, has written a stunning poem that brings to light the shock and horror of being beaten and abused by someone you thought loved and cherished you.

I am proud to present: "Kiss the Creep," by Mayden Steele, who also created the accompanying illustration. She captures the brutal shock that occurs when one is abused. Usually people wait until after the wedding to show their true colors, but in this case, the color of blood is all too apparent at the wedding ceremony itself:

Kiss the Creep

This day I look truly beautiful.
A day sent from God.
My green gown lined with black lace.
My pale green veil hides my face.

My love is standing tall
At the end of the aisle.
My love's eyes, they tear
Through his silver smile.

When I reach him he holds my hand.
He squeezes it slightly, tightly.
It hurts me, but maybe it's just me.
Yes, that's it...it's me...

His children stand near to me.
As we are drawn together.
The priest speaks clearly.
Binds us forever.

I can't wait for your kiss, so soft and deep.
He says "Husband and wife...kiss the creep."

Kiss the creep.
The blow to my face.

Kiss the creep.
Blood splattering lace.

Kiss this creep with one swipe of your hand.
It's what it deserves, it's been so bad.

The creep in green lace
The stunned look on it's face.
How amusing.
But you all wouldn't know...

You just look away...
As he kisses the creep.

Domestic violence is still the single biggest threat of injury to women. More than heart attacks, cancer, strokes, car accidents, muggings, and rapes combined. Statistics tell us the most dangerous place for a woman to be is in her own home, not some dark alley, squalid neighborhood, or isolated parking area.

Other statistics are, that in the United States, 3 women are killed every day by a husband, boyfriend or cohabiting partner in abusive relationships.

The abusive relationship statistics that are usually not included in any statistics we hear about, are all the other types of abuse that occur in relationships.

This includes: threats, breaking things, slamming doors excessively, throwing objects, overturning tables. It also includes all types of verbal, mental, emotional, and psychological abuse as well as a range of controlling and dominating behavior.

Many women are subject to having their whereabouts monitored and limited all the time. They are restricted in the contact they have with relatives and friends. It is often not recognized this is part of an abusive relationship.

All these are figures that are not contained in abusive relationship statistics. This means we never find out about the full extent of the problem. But if people bring it into the light, we can work on a solution. Keeping it hidden keeps the problem alive.

The Dirty Dozen Threats to Male Fertility

Teflon, pesticides, and plastics have all been linked to messing with male fertility. Now, not only are men in danger of extinction, but their ability to reproduce is seriously being compromised. In my artcle Men Will Become Extinct: Appreciate Them Now, I reported about the fact that males genes will die out in the future. Before their genes die out their ability to reproduce may vanish.

A leading scientist has warned that chemicals found in many foods, cosmetics, and cleaning products are a real threat to male fertility. Professor Richard Sharpe, of the Medical Research Council, says that these hormone-disrupting chemicals are "feminizing" boys in the womb, leading to rising rates of birth defects, testicular cancer, and low sperm counts. ?

Testicular Dysgenesis Syndrome
It is thought that all these conditions, collectively called Testicular Dysgenesis Syndrome (TDS), are linked to disruption of the male sex hormone testosterone. Professor Sharpe concluded that exposure to a cocktail of hormone-disrupting chemicals in the environment is likely to be at least partly to blame by blocking the action of testosterone in the womb. ?

Strange frogs and bears
The strongest evidence showing that exposure to environmental chemicals can lead to disruption of endocrine function comes from the bizarre changes seen in a number of wildlife species, such as male fish transforming into females; frogs developing a variety of defects like multiple testes or ovaries; and hermaphrodite bears, just to name a few.

We're destroying ourselves
Most of these chemicals are hard to pronounce and invisible, so we don't think about them. Plus, they don't have immediate side effects and take a long time to accumulate. We can't avoid them because they are in everything in our environment from the plastics we drink our water from to the pesticides and chemicals in our food. So, if we love our men and want to be able to have children with them instead of with frozen sperm from a sperm bank, then we need to clean up how we live our lives in these times.

What should you avoid, according to a leading authority, if you want to be a fertile male or want your man to be able to give you babies:

1. Phthalates -- found in vinyl flooring, detergents, automotive plastics, soap, shampoo, deodorants, fragrances, hair spray, nail polish, plastic bags, food packaging, garden hoses, inflatable toys, blood-storage bags, and intravenous medical tubing. They can lead to incomplete testicular descent in fetuses.

2. Bisphenol A -- a common ingredient in many plastics, including those in reusable water bottles and resins lining some food cans and dental sealants, can change the course of fetal development in a way that increases your risk of breast cancer.

3. Perfluorooctanoic acid (PFOA) -- found in grease- and water-resistant coatings like Teflon and Gore-Tex, is a likely carcinogen.

4. Methoxychlor and Vinclozin-- An insecticide and a fungicide respectively, have been found to cause changes to male mice born for as many as four subsequent generations after the initial exposure.

5. Nonylphenol ethoxylates (NPEs) -- Known to be potent endocrine disrupters, these chemicals affect gene expression by turning on or off certain genes, and interfere with the way your glandular system works. They mimic the female hormone estrogen, and have been implicated as one reason behind some marine species switching from male to female.

6. Bovine growth hormones, commonly added to commercial dairy have been implicated as a contributor to premature adolescence.

7. Soy products, which are loaded with hormone-like substances.

8. MSG -- A food additive that’s been linked to reduced fertility.

9. Fluoride -- This chemical in the U.S. water supply has been linked to lower fertility rates, hormone disruption and low sperm counts.

10. Synthetically produced pharmaceuticals that are intended to be highly hormonally active, such as contraceptive pills and treatments for hormone-responsive cancers. Your body is not designed to be exposed to these synthetic hormones, and long-term use will invariably increase your risk of developing serious chronic illness.

11. Other natural chemicals, including toxins produced by components of plants (the so-called phytoestrogens, such as genistein or coumestrol) and certain fungi.

12. Other man-made chemicals and by-products released into the environment. These include some pesticides (such as pyrethroids, linuron, vinclozolin, fenitrothion, DDT and other chlorinated compounds), and a number of industrial chemicals like polychlorinated biphenols (PCBs) and dioxins.

People Married to Walls, Buildings, and Goats

A Sudanese goat named Rose was married to a man found having sex with her. The black and white goat's owner discovered the man, Charles Tombe, copulating with the animal. Local elders in the South Sudan capital, Juba, forced Mr Tombe to pay a dowry of 15,000 Sudanese dinars to the goat's owner and wed her as punishment.

Bicycles and picnic tables
But a goat is relatively "normal" compare to people who have been arrested for having sex with objects such as a bicycle and a picnic table. Karl Watkins, an electrician, was jailed for having sex with pavements in England, in 1993.

Married to the Berlin Wall
Then there are people who marry objects, such as buildings and walls. One Woman 'married' to Berlin Wall for 29 years. Eija-Riitta Berliner-Mauer, 54, whose surname means Berlin Wall in German, wed the concrete structure in 1979 after being diagnosed with a condition called Objectum-Sexuality.

Mrs Berliner-Mauer claimed she fell in love with the structure when she first saw it on television when she was seven. She began collecting "his" pictures and saving up for visits. On her sixth trip in 1979 they tied the knot before a handful of guests.

She remains a virgin with humans, but insists she has a full, loving relationship with the wall. Mrs Berliner-Mauer, said: "I find long, slim things with horizontal lines very sexy. "The Great Wall of China's attractive, but he’s too thick – my husband is sexier."

While the rest of mankind rejoiced when the Wall, erected by the Soviets in 1961, was torn down in 1989, its "wife" was horrified. She's never been back and now keeps models depicting "his" former glory.

She said: “What they did was awful. They mutilated my husband." She is said to have shifted her affections to a nearby garden fence. She is an objectophiliac. Objectum-Sexual or objectophilia is feelings of love, attraction, arousal, and commitment for a particular object.

Married to the Eiffel Tower
Then there is the woman who married the Eiffel Tower. Her emotional needs are met by a 1,000ft iron monument in France.

She too belongs to the strange world of the "objectum sexual"– a group of people, mainly women, whose intimate lives revolve around objects with which they say they share romantic and sexual love.

She also, has taken on the name of the tower for her surname. Her name is Erika La Tour Eiffel and lives in San Francisco. She had a ceremony with friends last year in Paris, at which she promised eternal love to the iron monument and changed her name legally to reflect the bond. "There is a huge problem with being in love with a public object," she says sadly. "The issue of intimacy – or rather lack of it – is forever present."

Radios and stereos
Then there is a lady whose fixations are radios and stereos. When she was interviewed, she was in love with a hi-fi system which she called Jake. Jake, she says, is "solid, reliable and beautiful". She repairs "him" whenhe goes wrong, and "makes love" to him on average twice a day. "This is the way I communicate with him."

Space ships, Twin Towers, and church organs
Amy W. is a 32-year-old who also lives in New York State. She has been in relationships with models of spaceships, the Twin Towers, a church organ and a banister, though her main lover – since OS people believe in polygamy – is a fairground ride called 1001 Nacht, located at Knoebels, an amusement park in New York State.

Why?
Why people really fall in love with objects is a controversial issue. The OS members believe it to be metaphysical but most of the women interviewed had serious difficulties in early childhood, from severe sexual abuse to abandonment and rejection.

David Morgan, a senior psychoanalyst at the Portman NHS Trust for sexual dysfunctions, believes the condition usually stems from having been treated in early childhood like "an inanimate, unfeeling object, so the person forms a psychic retreat by taking refuge in a world where objects are idealised. In other words, when your parents or carers let you down badly, you might turn to more reliable bonds: objects, food, virtual reality..."

The Berlin Wall as a soul-mate
Eija-Riitta Berliner-Mauer, says: "We have been together now for many years, spiritually if not physically. Like every married couple, we have our ups and downs. We even made it through the terrible disaster of November 9, 1989, when my husband was subjected to frenzied attacks by a mob. But we are still as much in love as the day we met. It may not be a conventional marriage, but neither of us cares much for conventions. Ours is a story of two beings in love, our souls entwined for all eternity."

Dating after Divorce: A New Chance

They say that it takes a year and a half to fully get over a divorce and that if you are dating someone before that period of time, you are not really ready for a relationship. You are still reeling from the shock of it. That depends though, on who got divorced and who did the divorcing. For some people who have been in a hellish marriage, dating within the same month as the divorce may be completely appropriate for them.

Many factors determine whether you can get over your ex and get on with your life. And everyone is an individual, so there are no definite rules. It all depends on your readiness to move and and how you have healed.

As Associated Press' Karl Withakay put it, "A good test to see how you feel the first time you see your ex with someone else. I recall my experience when that happened to me. I showed up at herapartment to pick up our son. She answered the door in her robe with her hair messed up. She obviously just got out of bed. She was fetching my son's things when a man came out of her bedroom with no shirt or shoes and wearing just a pair of sweat pants. They had obviously spent the night together. Well she was very nervious and uncomfortable as she introduced us which was natural and a bit entertaining as far as I was concerned. I stayed for just a minute or two chatting with the man. After I left, I recall waking across the parking lot to my car with my son and feeling a sense of well being. I had always wondered how I would feel when I eventually saw that and I was fine. I felt NOTHING. I wasn't hurt, angry or jealous at all. I was just fine. It was then that I knew that I had HEALED. I could now begin dating after divorce and feel relaxed about it and totally emotionally free."

Being emotionally free is the key point. Otherwise, you will be like ScarMan, continually rehearsing all the hurts, the grueling details of the divorce and custody battles, and never really focus on getting to know the potentially new person in your life.

It also depends on what you want from the new person. Are you looking to them as an escape, to make the pain go away? Do you just want something casual or are you looking for your next life partner? As Withakay says, "If LOVE and a relationship that grows is what you're after, it is best to wait to heal before you begin dating after divorce."

The emphasis is on healing and understanding what you want. Otherwise the new relationship is set up to fail. Don't think dating will put a band-aid on your life while you stuff your emotional wounds under the carpet or spew them to the next willing listener. Dating is not a session with a shrink, it is a venue for people to get to know each other better. If you are still reeling from divorce, it's best to sort out your priorities and heal before plunging into more emotional turmoil, especially if you have children.

See my article: Sex and the Single Mom, which also applies to the single dad.

For more info: See The Dirty Seven: Ladies Beware and Booby Trapped: Men Beware the Dirty Seven Sisters.

When Fantasy Becomes Reality: Online Love

Thomas Montgomery, is a married father of two in New York state. Montgomery invented two alternate identities and got both of them involved online with the 17-year-old girl persona of "Mary." Mary was really a forty-something married woman in West Virginia. He met her at the games site, Pogo.com. He then became so jealous that she was also seeing his co-worker online, that he shot the guy dead in the parking lot after work. The full story is in Wired magazine.

The Houston Chronicle reported that one in three women who met partners through online dating sites had sex with them "on the first date" -- and that 75 percent of those women didn't use condoms. The study contrasts this apparently risky behavior with the extensive care women take to stay safe in other ways, like doing formal background checks, meeting in a public place, telling a friend whom they're meeting, and setting up check-in calls.

Those pre-date e-mails and chats and dancing in virtual clubs build a relationship quickly. A real relationship, in the minds of the participants. The common thread among these stories is that people get deeply involved in online relationships and make decisions about their real lives. And these decisions impact the people involved and on those closest to them.

As Regina Lynn of Wired says, "We all know we do things in the heat of the moment that we might not if we stepped back and thought about it for a while. Online environments can extend that "heat of the moment" feeling over long periods of time; physical environments often don't. And then we do stupid things, like completely ignore our other relationships to be with our online lovers, instead of staying in balance. Or we get caught having IM sex at work and get fired."

She explains, "That's why we're so desperate to pretend it's all fantasy if it's online, so we can make the hard, painful, life-crushing parts go away. And that's why I get my panties in a bunch when people try to dismiss the reality of sex in virtual spaces. I'm all for cybersex, of course, but let's not pretend it doesn't have real consequences."

If you need further convincing that online love can disrupt real life love, the Wall Street Journal article on the man who spent all his time with his online wives in the game Second Life his real life wife is ready to divorce him.

Nearly 40% of men and 53% of women who play online games said their virtual friends were equal to or better than their real-life friends, according to a survey of 30,000 gamers conducted by Nick Yee, a recent Ph.D. graduate from Stanford University. More than a quarter of gamers said the emotional highlight of the past week occurred in a computer world, according to a survey, MIT's Press's journal Presence.

It's a sad commentary on modern life that the highlight of so many people's days is interfacing with a machine. Avatars talking with avatars. Fantasies interacting with fantasies. Yes reality is painful and online love can leave out the darker side of love for some. But if people are going to kill each other over a game, it shows that the fantasy has become the reality.

Porn, Pop-ups, and the Kids

Accidental porn is actually a very common occurrence, even among savvy web users -- I ran into some myself just the other day. Those pop-up windows that when you close just lead to other pop-ups of bubble-chested babes in various states of exposure seem endless when you are trying to get out of them.

According to the Center for Missing & Exploited Children, 34 percent of youths age 10 to 17 who use the internet have unintentionally encountered pictures of naked people or people having sex. They wrote a report, "Online Victimization of Youth: Five Years Later." It's a relief to know that In most cases the encounter is not distressing to the kids; they click away and move on.

However, it is still important to note, as detailed in this report, the risks to children, particularly teenagers, in cyberspace include exposure to:

• Unwanted sexual solicitations (1 in 7 youths)
• Unwanted exposure to sexual material (1 in 3 youths)
• Harassment —threatening or other offensive behavior directed at them (1 in 11 youths)

Their plan to deal with the issue is to:

1. Prevent child victimization in cyberspace through aggressive education programs directed toward families. NetSmartz, an Internet safety education program has reached into thousands of homes and classrooms. This program includes a message to parents and guardians focusing on strong involvement in their children’s lives and increasing knowledge and awareness about computers and the Internet in this generation, which did not grow up with the Internet.

2. Advocate for assistance through developing technology tools and access controls. Parents and guardians should make informed decisions about using these blocking, monitoring, and filtering software tools in their homes.

3. Support aggressive law-enforcement efforts directed against those who use the Internet for criminal purposes. In addition to being reprehensible, child pornography and the enticing, luring, or seducing of children online is unlawful and strict enforcement of our laws is necessary to deter these crimes.

Internet Dating Story 2

Sandi wrote: I met a man on one of the internet personals sites. We'll call him Dick, which is not his real name, but probably should be. Dick and I emailed for a while, discovered we had some things in common and lived within just a few miles of each other. Email led to phone conversations, and admittedly Dick tended to dominate any and all conversations, but I thought to myself, "He's just nervous and trying to impress. He'll quiet down a little as we get to know each other."

Dick and I eventually decided to meet in person. During dinner and after-dinner drinks, he spoke at a volume that was deafening. He talked about his ex-girlfriend, ex-wives, his successful accounting practice, his achievements, his prowess at anything and everything (including sex), and barely drew breath. He even told me he was a narcissist, as though that were an achievement to be proud of in itself! He never once asked a single question about me or my life.

At the end of the date, he suggested we get together for dinner the next evening, and in an effort to give him a second chance, I agreed. The next day came and went and not a word from him. A week went by and I decided he had just lost interest, and I was by no means heartbroken.

6 months later, at 1:00 am in the morning, the phone rang. Upon checking my voicemail, there was a drunken, slurred message, not saying who it was but begging me to call! My Caller ID showed me this charming alcholic dialogue was from Dick. So I ignored it.

Another month went by, and then there was another voicemail, this time sober, apologizing for the last voicemail and suggesting we get together. An email followed the voicemail. So I gave Dick yet another chance.

On the next date, Dick again dominates the conversation in a booming voice, and when the waitress arrives with the check for the pre-dinner cocktails, Dick turns to me and says, "Would you prefer to pay for the drinks, or for dinner?" The waitress informs Dick that if he was a gentleman, he would pay for both. I opt to pay for the drinks and Dick accepts.

3 days go by from this date, and I receive another drunken phone call from Dick, who apparently spent too much time that day at the 19th hole. Dick was so hammered as to be almost incoherent, but managed to ask if I enjoyed anal sex. I hung up on him.

Another few days, and Dick calls to apologize. He explains that his ex-girlfriend had called him, which prompted the drinking binge, and it won't happen again. We set a date to go to a baseball game at the end of the week.

Arriving at his house for the baseball date, he hands me a bouquet of 4 beautiful roses. I am thrilled and thank him for being so thoughtful and sweet. Now I'm thinking maybe he's an okay guy! Until he explains that it was the 20th anniversary of a lady friend of his, and when he went to the florist with the intention of buying 20 roses for her, the florist advised that buying 2 dozen roses would be cheaper. He had 4 left over. Lucky me!

Unfortunately, even before the baseball date, I had asked him over for a home cooked dinner at my house the following week. During dinner, he sat down so heavily on my diningroom chair, that he shattered it. Without word of apology, he simply stated that he would take my chair, repair it and return it.

The next date we arranged, he stood me up. And at this point, I decided I had really had enough. But he had my dining chair! After several requests to retrieve said chair without success, I was forced to ask a male co-worker to accompany me to Dick's house to get my now-hostage dining chair back!

My male co-worker said that even someone as stupid and self-absorbed as Dick would surely realize the retrieval of the chair meant The End of the relationship. Hopefully he is right, as I haven't heard from Dick since. But somehow I just know, at 1:00 am in the morning sometime soon, there'll be yet another drunken plea to meet up again. And the answer, folks, will be a resounding NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

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Good for you Sandi, though you let it drag on too long as it was. That is precisely the problem with Internet dating. You don't see people's actions. All you can do is read their words. And through their words they can misrepresent themselves or not reveal their characters.

Dick proclaims himself to be a narcissist and sounds proud of it. He is obviously one of theDirty Seven--actually a combination of types but most predominantly: ScarMan because he rants on and on about his exes and even brings you left-overs from the bouquet he bought for another woman.

Where you went wrong was inviting him over for dinner. He didn't deserve that kind of royal treatment. I would have ended even before the drunken call about anal sex. But Sandi, you were too nice. It should have never gotten to the broken chair stage. However, to call what you two had a "relationship" is stretching it. Who were you relating to? Were you relating at all? Or was it a case of a lonely girl hoping to piece together the semblance of a relationship out of the wrong raw materials?

Giving jerks a chance after they have repeatedly shown themselves to be jerks is not the way to build a relationship.

For more info: Read my books The Dirty Seven: Ladies Beware and Booby Trapped: Men Beware the Dirty Seven Sisters. Also see the Internet Dating Stories website.