Threesomes: Three's a crowd

Threesomes don't work if you are in a committed relationship. Period. I have seen too many couples break up over them. The emotional scars and hurt feelings, ranging from being the one "left out," to having one's spouse be more interested in the new partner and falling in love with the other person, are difficult to get past. I would be very interested in hearing about any threesomes that have resulted in long-term happiness, peace of mind, or complete satisfaction for all three partners.

I have only seen the tragically awkward and complicated sides of the threesome story. For both men and women, it is easy to develop feelings for someone you have been physically intimate with, since falling in love and having sex often go together. If either of you falls in love with the third partner, it becomes confusing outside of the bedroom. The woman can feel romantic outside the bedroom toward the other woman too, leaving the man out in the cold. Of course, the reverse could be true as well. The man can fall for the other man and abandon his original love interest.

Jealousy, also comes into the picture. The girl with smaller breasts may compare herself to the other woman and think that is why she is getting less attention, feeling ugly and worthless. One woman told me, "I did a threesome with another woman. My boyfriend and her were paying so much attention to each other, I began to feel neglected. I wondered if it was because I wasn't pretty enough, thin enough, or that my hair was the wrong color. Was he just bored with me? We broke up and I had to watch them become the new couple."

Therefore it is important to pay equal attention to both partners, or more to your spouse/significan other, but definitely not the other way around. Is that what you want? To keep tally of how much equal attention is being distributed?

Unless you can separate sex from love, I say stay away from threesomes. If one of the partners has an STD or gets pregnant, further complications arise. Sex and love are among the greatest joys in life. But if we take these matters trivially, lightly, without understanding the consequences, there is nothing but trouble ahead.