How to know if he's cheating

He comes home late, hides his phone, and makes too many excuses about his whereabouts. Is he cheating? Has he has started doing things that he doesn't normally do?

One woman says, "I found out when the lady my partner had been having an affair with phoned me to tell me he had just finished the relationship. I had suspected for over six months. He had started using his phone a lot more, had installed different ring tones for different people, he was gradually more distant, unloving and uncaring towards me, never wanted sex, began wearing different clothes, and had put on weight due to the drinking and eating he was doing with her."

Here are some clues from the relationship writer Zondra Hughes.
1. His whereabouts are unaccounted for. Sudden "emergencies" are putting you and your needs on the back burner.

2. The sex is different; his brief kisses and even briefer phone conversations have become empty consolation prizes for his absences and unfulfilled promises.

3. He starts accusing you of infidelity: His guilty conscience projects itself onto you.

4. He becomes obsessed with his appearance: If he was previously happiest in a pair of old jeans and a t-shirt and suddenly starts wearing suits and cologne when he goes out, be suspicious. Also be wary if a guy who was previously unconcerned about his appearance suddenly wants a new wardrobe, a hair transplant, or becomes fixated on developing his body through exercise.

5. He suddenly starts buying you presents: If this is not typical of your man, you may want to ask yourself why. Sometimes this is a means of covering guilt for bad behavior.

6. He frequently picks fights with you: This gives him a chance to leave the house so he can find consolation with the "other woman."

7. The smell of foreign perfume lingering in his car or on his clothes.

8. The sudden surge in so-called wrong numbers and hang-up calls received at your home.

9. Unusually long hours spent at work without the overtime pay to prove it.

Even though these are common signs, no two cheaters behave alike, experts say. Sometimes a cheater will pick an argument so that he can storm out of the house and into the arms of another; and sometimes, a cheater will become overly romantic, says television show producer and self-described cheater Bobby Goldstein, creator of the reality series, Cheaters.

"I wasn't at home a lot; I was very short-tempered with my ex-spouse, and I think I overcompensated for my actions by trying to do more and more good in less and less time," Goldstein says. "So if you receive flowers, and more attention, but the little things don't check out, or if there are expenses that are not accounted for, you need to [look out]. If a woman is smart, she will be all over this guy and make him come clean."

Here are other signs of a cheater, according to Brittian Wilder, author of Is It Love or a Big Misunderstanding?:
1. He is constantly saying, "I need more time to myself," even if you only see him a few days out of the week already.

2. He's always finding excuses to be away from you. (Usually this is when "hanging with the homeboys" come into play.)

3. Changes in the bedroom--he is rarely in the mood for sex; or he may try something new with you.
4. He suddenly becomes critical of you and compares you to others.

5. He develops an interest in new things, hobbies or even foods.

6. He can't look you in the eye when you ask him pointblank, "Are you having an affair?"

Stay tuned for my article on Cheating on the Internet.