Jealousy: The difference between men and women

Women and men feel jealousy for different reasons, according to scientists. Jealousy is an emotion aroused when we feel a threat to a relationship or position. It is a reaction related to fear and rage, and it makes us want to protect, maintain, and prolong the association of love.

Man's jealousy
From the man's perspective, a sexual infidelity will result in not knowing who is the father of his children, which often leads to sexual jealousy. Sexual infidelity, therefore, acts as a cue that triggers sexual jealousy among men.

Woman's jealousy
For women, their mate's sexual infidelity does not jeopardize a woman's assurance of parenthood. The child remains hers no matter what. But if her mate becomes interested in another woman, this will result in a loss of his time, attention, energy, resources, protection, and commitment to her children. This loss is essential to her child's survival and is a cue for sexual jealousy (Buunk, Angleitner, Oubaid, & Buss, 1996).

So the reasons women and men experience jealousy are different. Women are more prone to react negatively when they or their children are deprived of emotional support; this will trigger jealousy. Men, on the other hand, will become angry if they suspect their wives of sexual infidelity-- because who's the daddy?

Appearances
Jealousy also rears its ugly green-eyed head when your relationship with your mate is threatened because of physical appearance rather than reproduction. In men, jealousy is triggered when their mate smiles at another man if he is younger, better looking, and has higher status. As a result of this jealousy, the man will engage in behaviors that ensure that he monopolizes sexual access to his mate.

Emotional Infidelity and appearances
Women, on the other hand, will be more concerned about emotional infidelity, because they depend greatly on the resources their mate makes available to them. If a woman's mate is emotionally connected to another woman, then she will receive reduced commitment.
Jealousy in women is triggered by cues related to emotional connection or the presence of a younger and more attractive woman (Looy, 2001). Emotional infidelity is thus increasingly distressing to women because they want their man dedicated to only themselves and their children.

Miserable
Jealousy is jea-"lousy." It is a lousy emotion to feel and to act upon. It has very little to do with love and more to do with self-esteem and possession. Yet it may have evolved to ensure the sanctity of the family unit.

Instinct
It is an instinct, not something that can be eradicated or pretended that it isn't there. For millenia of evolution, jealousy helped human tribes fend off outside attackers by empowering the men to be and feel "masculine" in facing them head-on.

Normal but painful
When a man demonstrates the natural normal kind of "jealousy" that is a biological instinct as opposed to a character flaw, it works to ward off the advances of other men, would-be muggers, and other threats, and that is a good thing!

In the case of both men and women, jealousy is normal but painful. It's function is to protect and serve the family unit--but life is much happier when "the green-eyed monster" stays away from your door.