The 4 Rules of Attraction

How do I attract someone into my life? When it comes to sex and relationships, "attraction" means different things to different people. Some women find the bad boys with problems attractive, some men find the cute little silly girls attractive. Those things are a matter of taste and cannot be fully explained. But here are some general rules that can make a difference:

Appearance
Look like you care about it. You don't have to be Halle Berry or Tyson Beckford, but look like you care about yourself. As good a person as you are inside, the exterior is what most of us notice first. If people pass on you because you are wearing dirty, torn sweats and have unwashed hair--they never will get to know the great person you know you are.

Attractive looks will only take you or your mate so far, of course. If the only reason you are with a person is because they look good to you and nothing else, the attraction will get old and die of its own accord. But it makes sense to make an effort with your appearance, because it shows you care about yourself. At least cover the basics:

--Hair groomed (no dandruff all over your shoulders)
--Clean teeth (no spinach, meat, or gunk between your teeth)
--Fresh breath (do not smell like a week-old pizza with all the toppings)
--Clean clothes (BO is not a turn-on for most)

Other items are "in the eye of the beholder." For example, a guy wearing dress socks with sandals and shorts turns me off because it looks like he is clueless. But he might remind another woman of her father and she loves that feeling. Or, I might learn that he is clueless about clothes but knows how to take care of a woman in all respects.

Vibration and Energy
A positive outlook will draw in people that reflect the positive things that you feel about yourself and life. All of life is about vibrations and energy. Sex and relationships are no different. If you want to be attractive to people who want to live the same positive life you want, you radiate that positivity first. I don't mean be Pollyanna from Joyland, just optimistic, inspiring, and someone it is uplifting to be with.

Security within yourself
Find a way to be secure and grounded. Needy, desperate people telegraph these vibes. It is not attractive to see a clingy, insecure, person who fears being alone. It’s not attractive to place the responsibility for your happiness on one person and get it solely from them.

Don't Front
We all have a tendency to put on our party manners during the dating period, but the reality is that the ongoing attraction is created by getting to know the real you. Don’t pretend and start acting happier than you actually feel--your vibrations will betray you.