Crying over a Man: What's up?

I was with a woman who was crying over a man the other night. He had been cheating on her for most of the relationship with two different women and she finally found out. She was crying a lot. Most of the day and night--and her puffy eyes bore witness to it.

But she wasn't crying because she was hurt that her guy was a creep. I expected her to feel upset about the betrayal, the deceit, or being taken for a fool. But she was upset because she wasn’t with him anymore. She missed him. She sobbed, "He's the center of my world. What am I going to do now?”

I meet a lot of women crying over their men but:

--It’s one thing to cry over the betrayal and be angry about it.
--It is another to cry about the fact that you’re no longer with a guy who treated you like dirt.

Anger
If you’re upset about the what he has done, at least you can progress to anger and move on from that. You can grieve for the relationship, and get over him.

Obsession
If you’re crying because you’re not with the jerk and you miss his company, the sex, how he made you feel, you will continue to obsess over him him and the relationship. Then you will start saying to yourself:

"It was probably me. I wasn't good enough for him. What if I had worn that sexy outfit instead of sweats the other night? Maybe I've been too busy at work. Maybe I'm not pretty or thin enough. On and on you will go, blaming yourself. What does she have that I don't have?

Emotional investment
Women have cried a lot of tears and obsessed about what should have been, could have been. Tears, upset, anger, blame, and shame are all natural when you break up with someone you’re emotionally invested in.

Deserve better
But if you're crying, ask yourself why you’re crying. If it’s because you miss him and want him badly but he’s a cheater and a liar, you need to look inside to see what kind of image you have of yourself. Maybe you think you don't deserve better.

If that is the case, you will be crying over the next man who will do the same thing to you. Until you get a sense of self-worth, you will be dumped and cheated on again.

Move on
If you say to yourself, "This guy got over on me. He wasn't who I thought he was. I'll let him go and get ready to attract someone who will really love me and will deserve my love. . . " you will be able to move on and chalk Mr. Badboy up to one of the casualties of the mating game.