First date: What not to say

Some people spew their guts on their first date: "I see a shrink twice a week, I have a hard time getting it up; I'm taking meds for depression; and how nervous I am because it's been so long since I've been on a date. These are all bad topics that you should avoid on a first date. If there's a questionable or uncomfortable problem that's on your mind, hold off on it until you get to know each other better.

Here are some definite no-no's:

Your exes
In my book, The Dirty Seven: Ladies Beware, I talk about ScarMan. He rags on and on about his ex, whether she was a saint or a sinner. There's ScarBaby too, the lady who rants on and on about her ex, how he dumped her, mistreated her, abused her, etc. Your date's romantic fantasies about you will be overshadowed by images of that other "mate" whom you're still not over. Unless, of course, you have kids from your earlier marriage, and they're a big part of your life. Since that's something that might be a deal-breaker, and understandably so, mention it early on, but don't go on and on about how your kids are the better than anyone's.

Your sexual one-night-stands
Don't mess up a date by drinking too much and then telling your date about what a nympho you used to be, or how you used to sleep with anything that walked. No one needs you to overshare about the times you had casual sex with other people in the back seat of your Chevy!

Your messed-up childhood
If your childhood was unhappy, don't treat your date as a shrink and carry on about how mommy or daddy didn't love you. Save it for later, when you know each other better.

Your mental problems
Avoid mention of any psychopharmaceutical drugs you might be taking and how often you go to the shrink because you can't cope. I once went out with a man who told me on the first date, "I never do anything without calling my shrink first." That was good information. It let me know to pass on him for any future encounters.

No work or hate work
It's not a big turn on to learn that you have no visible means of support. You should mention that you don't have a 9-to-5 but also emphasize how you're looking for something new, have some great prospects, and are feeling hopeful about the future. And if you got a hefty severance check, or have a nice cushy amount saved up in the bank, go ahead and throw that in there, too.
If you do have a job, don't carry on too long about how you hate everyone there including your boss. Your date will wonder if it's you or them that has the problem.

Financial problems
Don't laugh over how broke you are and how you are maxed out on your credit cards. When you finally you do bring it up, and not on the first date, be sure to also talk about the plan you have to dig yourself out of the hole.

All of the above can make that first date be your last.