Why are Some Couples so Happy?

You love each other. Isn't that enough? Being happy with each other should be easy. Obviously, just loving each other it isn't enough. If you take a look at the divorce rate, which is 50% and some say as high as 60% after the first two years, love may not be enough at all.

Yet some couples are clearly much happier than others. I read through many of articles on how couples stay happy, here are the common denominators:

Be in love: Make a conscious decision to be in love. That means show that you are, instead of letting the daily grind take over. Take some time to show your continuing romantic feelings.

Let the good times roll: Treat your partner like you did at the beginning of your relationship. Make time to have fun together and not just do everything that needs to be done for the house, work, and taking care of business.

Express yourself: Make your partner feel secure in your love so they can open up to you and express feelings and ideas without fear of being attacked or judged. Otherwise they shut down because they fear you will come at them with an argument or hurt feelings and the silent treatment.

Be with them when you are with them: Keep your mind in the moment -- not at work, thinking about the person who gave you a hard time at work, or all the work you could be getting done while you are just enjoying time with your partner. I'm sure you have been to a restaurant where the gentleman is on the cell phone the whole dinner, while his lovely lady is sitting there staring off into space. Or the reverse can be true. It happens enough now. You are with him or her, not talking to your friends or doing business.

Keep looking good: Take the time to stay in shape and look good for each other. It does matter. Sometimes people think they can slack off once they are in a relationship. They stop shaving, don't wash, wear ill-fitting clothes. This can take its toll on romance.

Enjoy each other's differences: Unhappy couples focus on the ways they are different. Happy couples focus on their similarities and think their differences are interesting. Allow each other to be individuals and don't expect to be siamese twins with the same opinions and favorite activities.

Find solutions instead of blame: Problem-solve together, and in a loving way solve your problems together instead of pointing fingers at each other and getting out all your ammunition for the big war.

Get it on: Make time for sex or it will be swamped by all the stuff you need to do to survive, take care of business, and just maintain your life.

Tell it like it is: Don't expect to read each others' minds. Always clear up misunderstandings to make sure they don't throw you both off course.

Time out: Me-time is good. Even in the closest relationship, everyone needs time alone. Don't make each other feel guilty if you need to spend time alone or with your friends.

All of the above should be easy, right? But like the Ten Commandments, they are easy but many people find them difficult to follow. However, there is no doubt that if people would pay attention to these precepts, the happiness rate would go up and the strife in relationships would go down. The divorce rate would go down and children would not have to deal with the aftermath of broken marriages.